Thursday, October 19, 2006
More shocking material revealed!
My lab has been hard at work and they were recently able to uncover this interesting bit of dialog from the meeting transcripts!
Unknown speaker: (unreadable) with that stuff.
Conspirator 4: Well, that's your opinion. I say we need to focus our efforts on making it believable.
Conspirator 3: I think we are all concerned with that, (name deleted). That's why we're going to have fake phone calls coming from the "planes" to loved ones and emergency workers. Maybe even phone calls to the airlines themselves. Just the sort of thing we'd expect to have hijacked people do in that situation.
Conspirator 1: I don't know about that... seems like a hard thing to pull off well... won't the loved ones know that it really isn't those people calling?
Conspirator 3: I looked into that. We have this sweet new system that can totally spoof people's voices. We'll have to do a little research to make the actual conversation sound like stuff those people would actually say, but we've got nothing but time. Oh, and we need to get like 4 hours of each person we want to spoof going through this procedure so that the machine can accurately reproduce their voice. Like I said, though, we have nothing but time.
Conspirator 2: Uh, if these people are in on the whole scam, why do we need to spoof their voices? Can't they just make phone calls from our secret underground bunker or something?
Conspirator 3: That would be the easy way out. I have this cool new device and I want to use it, god****it.
Conspirator 4: No, he's got a point. Why don't we just have the actual people make the phone calls? Wait, how are so many people going to be making these phone calls?? Aren't there just a few of those AirFone things on each plane?
Conspirator 3: Oh, sure... We figured we'd claim they were using their cellular phones.
Conspirator 2: Cell phones? Do those even work on a plane?
Conspirator 3: Oh hell yeah. It's the year 2000, folks. The cellular telephone network topology of today is drastically different than it was 5 years ago... and also drastically different from what it will be in, say, 2006! Of course cell phones work on planes. Don't you think I thought this through completely?
Conspirator 2: Ok, Ok... they work. But does everybody know that? Wouldn't we be better off just not using cell phones? Seems like it could look suspicious.
Conspirator 1: Or, better yet, how about we just avoid using phones completely! Isn't there a way that a pilot can just "turn off" those AirFones? We could say that our "hijackers" did that... makes sense, doesn't it? Why would they want the people making calls? And why would they allow people to use their cell phones?
Conspirator 2: Yeah, not to mention that all of those cell phone calls and AirFone calls leave some sort of electronic trail when they are used. We'd have to pay off even MORE people to make that all look legit... people in the AirFone business who can fake the credit card processing that happens when somebody uses one of those phones...
Conspirator 1: And some people in every cellular phone company because we'll need them to fake usage records at the appropriate cell towers where the planes were flying over. Isn't this whole project just snowballing out of control? We're going to have to pay off half the country in order to fake out the other half.
Conspirator 3: BUT I WANT TO USE MY FAKE VOICE TOY THAT I BOUGHT!! (on the verge of tears)
Conspirator 5: Ok, I've heard enough. Now you've gone and made (name deleted) cry. Are you happy with yourselves??
Conspirator 1: um... no....?
Conspirator 5: Here's what's going to happen: We fake the phone calls. (name deleted) used half of his budget on that damned voice contraption and we're sure as hell gonna use it. You guys can handle the leg work of paying off the phone company tech weenies. We still have billions of dollars in the bribe fund.
Conspirator 3: I wasn't crying, dammit, I had something in my eye.
Conspirator 2: Where does that "bribe fund" money come from, anyway?
Conspirator 5: AIDS research donations. Since we created AIDS, we obviously have the cure already, so we just siphon the money into a slush fund.
Conspirator 2: That's some nice work.
Conspirator 5: Thanks. So we're all clear on the phone issue? Start bringing in our hundreds of co-conspirators so we can start to get their voices into that contraption.
Conspirator 3: I'm on it. Before we all go, I have one other topic I'd like to mention: I'd like to make some money on this whole thing.
Conspirator 1: I was thinking the same thing. Seems wasteful not to, right? Any ideas how?
Conspirator 3: Well, we can pretty much count on the value of the commercial airline industry going downhill after this, right?
Conspirator 1: Ha Ha! Yeah, you could say that.
Conspirator 3: So we call our stockbrokers the day before the .... (unreadable)
Chilling!
It really is amazing how overconfident they are! They would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those of us who choose to not walk around with our eyes closed!! And that part about AIDS, that's so over-the-top! I always had my suspicions...
Keep watching, there's so much more to come!
Unknown speaker: (unreadable) with that stuff.
Conspirator 4: Well, that's your opinion. I say we need to focus our efforts on making it believable.
Conspirator 3: I think we are all concerned with that, (name deleted). That's why we're going to have fake phone calls coming from the "planes" to loved ones and emergency workers. Maybe even phone calls to the airlines themselves. Just the sort of thing we'd expect to have hijacked people do in that situation.
Conspirator 1: I don't know about that... seems like a hard thing to pull off well... won't the loved ones know that it really isn't those people calling?
Conspirator 3: I looked into that. We have this sweet new system that can totally spoof people's voices. We'll have to do a little research to make the actual conversation sound like stuff those people would actually say, but we've got nothing but time. Oh, and we need to get like 4 hours of each person we want to spoof going through this procedure so that the machine can accurately reproduce their voice. Like I said, though, we have nothing but time.
Conspirator 2: Uh, if these people are in on the whole scam, why do we need to spoof their voices? Can't they just make phone calls from our secret underground bunker or something?
Conspirator 3: That would be the easy way out. I have this cool new device and I want to use it, god****it.
Conspirator 4: No, he's got a point. Why don't we just have the actual people make the phone calls? Wait, how are so many people going to be making these phone calls?? Aren't there just a few of those AirFone things on each plane?
Conspirator 3: Oh, sure... We figured we'd claim they were using their cellular phones.
Conspirator 2: Cell phones? Do those even work on a plane?
Conspirator 3: Oh hell yeah. It's the year 2000, folks. The cellular telephone network topology of today is drastically different than it was 5 years ago... and also drastically different from what it will be in, say, 2006! Of course cell phones work on planes. Don't you think I thought this through completely?
Conspirator 2: Ok, Ok... they work. But does everybody know that? Wouldn't we be better off just not using cell phones? Seems like it could look suspicious.
Conspirator 1: Or, better yet, how about we just avoid using phones completely! Isn't there a way that a pilot can just "turn off" those AirFones? We could say that our "hijackers" did that... makes sense, doesn't it? Why would they want the people making calls? And why would they allow people to use their cell phones?
Conspirator 2: Yeah, not to mention that all of those cell phone calls and AirFone calls leave some sort of electronic trail when they are used. We'd have to pay off even MORE people to make that all look legit... people in the AirFone business who can fake the credit card processing that happens when somebody uses one of those phones...
Conspirator 1: And some people in every cellular phone company because we'll need them to fake usage records at the appropriate cell towers where the planes were flying over. Isn't this whole project just snowballing out of control? We're going to have to pay off half the country in order to fake out the other half.
Conspirator 3: BUT I WANT TO USE MY FAKE VOICE TOY THAT I BOUGHT!! (on the verge of tears)
Conspirator 5: Ok, I've heard enough. Now you've gone and made (name deleted) cry. Are you happy with yourselves??
Conspirator 1: um... no....?
Conspirator 5: Here's what's going to happen: We fake the phone calls. (name deleted) used half of his budget on that damned voice contraption and we're sure as hell gonna use it. You guys can handle the leg work of paying off the phone company tech weenies. We still have billions of dollars in the bribe fund.
Conspirator 3: I wasn't crying, dammit, I had something in my eye.
Conspirator 2: Where does that "bribe fund" money come from, anyway?
Conspirator 5: AIDS research donations. Since we created AIDS, we obviously have the cure already, so we just siphon the money into a slush fund.
Conspirator 2: That's some nice work.
Conspirator 5: Thanks. So we're all clear on the phone issue? Start bringing in our hundreds of co-conspirators so we can start to get their voices into that contraption.
Conspirator 3: I'm on it. Before we all go, I have one other topic I'd like to mention: I'd like to make some money on this whole thing.
Conspirator 1: I was thinking the same thing. Seems wasteful not to, right? Any ideas how?
Conspirator 3: Well, we can pretty much count on the value of the commercial airline industry going downhill after this, right?
Conspirator 1: Ha Ha! Yeah, you could say that.
Conspirator 3: So we call our stockbrokers the day before the .... (unreadable)
Chilling!
It really is amazing how overconfident they are! They would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those of us who choose to not walk around with our eyes closed!! And that part about AIDS, that's so over-the-top! I always had my suspicions...
Keep watching, there's so much more to come!
"
book written by Ian Henshall
and Rowland Morgan.
It's a fine book, but I
have nothing to do with
it.